Desi Speaks

Anxiety

January 4, 2017

Anxiety can mean many things for different people, the dictionary definition of anxiety is ‘distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune’. There are different types and forms of anxiety; from mild to severe. 

Anxiety is an emotion characterized by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil, often accompanied by nervous behavior, such as panic attacks. It is the subjectively unpleasant feelings of dread over anticipated events. Anxiety is pretty normal when you’re worrying about things like your exam or a job interview, but it can get serious if you get nervous and worry over the smallest of things all the time.

When I was younger around the ages of 13-17 I had mild anxiety. I was an extremely shy person, I would never speak up in school; something that the teachers always complained about to my mum. I would get nervous around large crowds of people and talking to new people would scare me and make me feel sick to my stomach. I hardly ever went out to socialise, just went to school and back. I was a very sheltered person and I was living in my own little bubble.

My anxiety wasn’t that serious that it had to get treated but for me I knew it was there, it was evident to me. I wasn’t a very independent person either, I would always rely on my friends for everything. The thought of going somewhere by myself would make me nauseous and on edge. Whenever I was asked to present in class I would shake out of fear, the thought of a whole group of people staring at me would make me panic. Although people around me knew I was quiet, they didn’t know of my anxiety issues. Anxiety for me was just all in my head, It was just constantly over thinking.

It was only when I started university that I started to open up more and just get out more. In University I was thrown in the deep end, I had no one with me I had to start out fresh. The only thing that comforted me was knowing that everyone around me was in the same boat, we were all strangers to each other. Although I was anxious about starting university I forced myself to talk to people and open up more.

Severe anxiety can sometimes lead to depression and mental illnesses, my anxiety was no where near this but I feel it really should be taken more seriously. Just because you can’t see an illness physically doesn’t mean that it’s not there.

If you met me now you would not believe any of this 😀 Thank God I’m much more confident now and I love talking! I still get the occasional feeling of anxiety but it has definitely reduced. The only way I got over it was just by putting myself out there and plucking up the courage of doing things I would never do. I’m so glad I’m not the same person, I have changed and boy is the change good. A lot of my anxiety was due to my lack of confidence within myself, you just have to learn to love yourself.

There’s nothing wrong with being anxious from time to time but if it’s a long term thing then you must find ways of combatting it. Anxiety can lead to you missing out on so many good opportunities just because your nervous.

Stand tall, be confident, love yourself, don’t overthink it just do you and live your life!

Desi x

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